The principle and power of true forgiveness

Bread From Heaven Christian Fellowship
Thoughts For The Day . Oct. 12 to 18, 2009

The Principle And Power of True Forgiveness

“Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.”

Introduction:

Filled with forgiveness and bitterness: This paradox applies to many Christians. They know and accept fully the Biblical truth that as believers they have already been forgiven of all their sins, as they say so fondly, “past, present and future.” And yet, many say they cannot feel in their hearts that they have been forgiven. They still feel, guilty, they insist. The confusion deepens when they read this passage: Matt 6:14 “For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 “But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. The confusion deepens because this passage seems to say (it does not, by the way) that unless we forgive others, God will not forgive us our sins. It seems to say (it does not) that God’s forgiveness is conditional and that condition is that we must first forgive then we can be forgiven. Some rejoice that God has forgiven them but they themselves have been hurt so much by others that they find it difficult to forgive. And so fear sometimes enters the heart and some even begin to doubt their salvation. Let’s understand what forgiveness is and rejoice in the truth that the Bible shares.

Monday To Wednesday: Understanding Forgiveness As An Eternal Issue.

MONDAY: UNLESS WE UNDERSTAND THAT UNIQUE DOCTRINE CALLED “JUSTIFICATION FORGIVENESS”, WE CAN NEITHER ENJOY FORGIVENESS NOR GIVE IT FREELY.

Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. 3 For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

Notice the absolute precision and firmness of verse 1 when it speaks of the absence of condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. “There is therefore no more condemnation”, the other term for this, as coined by theologians, is JUSTIFICATION; it means the act of God declaring the sinner as NO LONGER GUILTY. How did we ever get to this point of acquiring JUSTIFICATION? Note what Paul says in these verses: Verse 1) No more condemnation for the believer. 2) reason 1: the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set us free from the law of sin and of death (the law which states that if you sin, you die). 3) The law (10 commandments, for example), can only tell us what wrong but it cannot save us. 4) God sent His son in the likeness of sinful flesh as an offering for sin. 5) Sin was condemned in the flesh (of the Lord Jesus). 5. The result? The requirement of the law was fulfilled in us.

What is the requirement of the law? The law has a requirement with two parts: The first part is OBEDIENCE and the second part is PENALTY for disobedience. Both of these were fulfilled in us through Jesus Christ. He obeyed perfectly and then He paid the penalty for our sins. As a result of having fully paid for the penalty for sin, we, or all those who belong to the Lord, now stand before God without possibility of ever incurring condemnation. No More condemnation means God has declared us NO LONGER GUILTY. This is called JUSTIFICATION FORGIVENESS. Don’t even doubt this: You have been forgiven fully, completely, once and for all and this forgiveness secures salvation and eternal life. Justification Forgiveness is COMPREHENSIVE (it covers all sins), RETROACTIVE (it covers all sins in the past) and PROACTIVE (covers all sins in the future).

TUESDAY: THE FOUNDATION OF JUSTIFICATION FORGIVENESS IS A LEGAL CONCEPT CALLED THE LAW OF DOUBLE JEOPARDY.

Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. 3 For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

As a legal concept, the law of Double jeopardy offers 3 specific protections for one who has been set free by the judge. In criminal cases (and remember, we stood as criminals -guilty of crimes- before God), Double Jeopardy offers 3 specific protections: First, it protects against a second criminal prosecution for the same offense after acquittal. Second, it protects against a subsequent prosecution for the same offense after conviction. Finally, it protects against multiple punishments for the same offense. How does this apply to us and to JUSTIFICATION FORGIVENESS?

Jesus was convicted in and on our behalf. That is called penal substitution because he substituted for us and assumed the legal penalty. He was charged for the crimes we committed so the charges cannot be raised against us. He was convicted for the crimes we have committed so those crimes were already raised against Him and the conviction as issued against Him. The penalty required for those crimes were applied against Him and so the law has been fully satisfied. No one else can be charged, convicted and punished for the simple reason that the Lord Jesus has already been charged, convicted and punished. The is the legal concept of double jeopardy. What is the result for us? It is called JUSTIFICATION FORGIVENESS or NO MORE CONDEMNATION forever more. What is my obligation now? To be grateful and to live for God’s glory all the days of my life. You too, my friend.

WEDNESDAY: THE 3 PILLARS OF JUSTIFICATION FORGIVENESS: SINS ALREADY FORGIVEN. SINS ALREADY COVERED OR CONCEALED. SINS NO LONGER TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT.

Rom 4: 7 "Blessed are those whose lawless deeds have been forgiven, And whose sins have been covered. 8 "Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will not take into account."

Picture this for a moment. An offender is dragged into the court and made to stand before an unrelenting judge. You are that offender. The sinner is guilty of the charge against him. But, before he came, somebody paid for the entire penalty required for his sin. Sin has two components: Crime committed and penalty required. The crime committed is extinguished by the full payment of penalty. When the sinner appears before the judge, his crime no longer exists because it has already been paid for. So he is released and sent away as someone who is NO LONGER GUILTY. That is the meaning of the word APHIEMI or FORGIVEN in verse 7.

Since the crime has been extinguished by the payment of the penalty, the record of that crime is now officially concealed or covered and as a matter of correct and precise protocol, the same cannot be taken into account again. If God can and in fact has actually accepted the payment of the Lord Jesus for our sins and if, because of that accepted payment, we are NO LONGER GUILTY, and as a consequence, the record of our sins is now officially concealed or covered, never to be taken into account again. Why then should we keep on punishing ourselves with guilt? Is our guilt stronger than God’s love? Is our guilt stronger and more valid that God’s concept of grace and mercy? Do not punish yourself for something the Lord has already been punished for.

Thursday To Friday: Understanding Forgiveness As A Daily Necessity

THURSDAY: SANCTIFICATION FORGIVENESS IS A DAILY NECESSITY UNLIKE JUSTIFICATION FORGIVENESS WHICH IS A ONCE FOR ALL EXPERIENCE.

Matt 6:9 "Pray, then, in this way: 'Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name. 10'Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. 11' Give us this day our daily bread.

12'And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13' And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.]' 14 "For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 "But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

Verse 9 tells of one eternal truth: God is our Father and He is eternal, He is our Father forever more. Verse 10 tells us of another eternal truth: God’s will is obeyed in heaven. Verses 11,12 and 13 tell us of 3 temporal (in contrast to eternal) truths: We need God’s provisions daily (bread); we sin everyday to so we need forgiveness just as we need bread daily. We need to forgive those who sins against us (debtors) daily just as we need God’s forgiveness daily. We also need help against temptation on a daily basis.

What is the difference between JUSTIFICATION FORGIVENESS and SANCTIFICATION FORGIVENESS? Justification forgiveness gives us the right to become children of God. It settles eternal issues. It happens only once. Sanctification forgiveness has something to do with offense we make against God on a daily basis. This will not change our eternal destiny but it can change the quality of our relationship with the Lord. It does not damage security of salvation; it brings damage to our fellowship with God. Justification forgiveness allows us to have a relationship. Sanctification forgiveness settles offenses committed within that relationship. Since we commit sin daily, daily forgiveness is a daily necessity.

FRIDAY: DON’T REVERSE THE ORDER: WE MUST GIVE SANCTIFICATION FORGIVENESS TO OTHERS BEFORE WE CAN ASK TO RECEIVE IT FROM GOD.

Matt 6:9 "Pray, then, in this way: 'Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name. 10' Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. 11' Give us this day our daily bread.

12' And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13' And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.]' 14 "For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 "But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

Here is a difficult truth about sanctification forgiveness: We can only be forgiven as we have forgiven others. What does this say to us? First: It reminds us to forgive others who have offended us. It says “as we have forgiven OUR DEBTORS or those who sin against us. Second: It reminds us that we will be offended by others. Christianity does not guarantee that we will be spared from being hurt by what people do. Third: It reminds us that asking forgiveness from God is a matter of faith and trust while granting forgiveness is a matter of obedience. Fourth: It reminds us that forgiveness as a gift to others allows us to acquire God’s forgiveness while refusing to forgive others will prevent us from enjoying God’s forgiveness. That is a costly mistake.

The prayer is full lessons. It tells us that the formula is never: “Lord forgive me first then I will forgive others.” That is not the formula but this: “Lord, I will forgive those who offended me then forgive me as I have forgiven.” If you’re feeling uptight without knowing why, feeling depressed without knowing why, feeling hopeless without knowing why, it is possible that the reason is that there is someone you must forgive first so that God can forgive you.

Saturday To Sunday: Understanding Forgiveness As Our Gift To The One Who Has Offended Us

SATURDAY:

Matthew 18:15 "And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 "But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. 17 "And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer.

Some people reading this passage came up with a one word response: UNFAIR. Why do some people consider this unfair? Look at verse 18, the one who has been offended is the one given the duty to call the attention of the offender. “"And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.” Here is how the Lord explains what we must do when we are offended by those who are close or related with us: 1) Confront the offender with one goal: for him to be reconciled with you through admission of his offense. That seems unfair right? It requires the offended to be take the initiative. 2) Convince the offender to repent. That seems unfair right? The hurting must become the healer. 3) Clarify the relationship with the offender. The kind and quality of our relationship with the offender must be decided by his decision to repent or it can be damaged all the more by his stubbornness. Unfair, wouldn’t you say?

How do you resolve this? Here is a suggestion: We offended the Lord but He came, suffered and presented to us the gospel of reconciliation. The offended took the first step. He preached the gospel and convinced us to repent. Unfair? Not really, he did it because it was necessary for our salvation. If I look at what the Lord has done for me, I will not and I cannot say that we are required to do is unfair. It may be emotionally unfair (I don’t feel good about it) but it is correct and proper. The offender takes the first step. That is what the Lord did and that is what we are expected to do.

SUNDAY: HURT IS NOT REALLY DICTATED BY THE OFFENSE BUT BY THE CLOSENESS OF THE OFFENDER TO YOU. THAT IS WHY IT IS SO PAINFUL. FORGIVENESS CAN ONLY GIVEN BY THE OBEDIENT.

Matthew 18:15 "And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 "But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. 17 "And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer. (Read the entire Matthew 18)

The passage tells us of a brother offending a brother. In the Bible, a relationship between brothers is a very close relationship. The Lord then is describing a very close relationship between human beings. This, I believe is an important consideration in our understanding of our hurt. Who is it who can really hurt you but the one who is close to you? A man can stand what his male friends do to him but he may find it difficult to cope with the hurts inflicted by the wife. The same is true for the wife. Hurt in terms of its impact is always determined by the closeness of our relationship with the one hurting us.

By experience we know that betrayals, offenses and the like hurt both the offender and the offended, the aggressor and the victim. Satan is the expert manipulator of hurts existing between friends, between couples, between parents and children and between church members. What is worse, relational hurt can greatly hinder personal growth and maturity.

In many ways, this passage is frightening to say the least. It requires the offended person to do whatever it takes to try to restore the offender so that the relationship can again be beautiful and enjoyable. But, it also prescribes a strict formula just in case the offender does not recognize his offense and does not repent. It requires the offender to finally decide on putting a distance between him and the offender.

The wisdom of this truth is this: We will try to be reconciled and regain the beautiful and harmonious relationship but thee is a limit to this. We cannot allow ourselves to be abused forever even by those who are related with us. Do the best to be reconciled but when everything else fails and there seems to be no sign of being reconciled, then we will do what is proper: put a distance between us and the offender so we prevent ourselves from being abused all the more.

Posted by Pastor Doy at 10:07 AM 0 comments Links to this post

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Counseling lesson # 2:

UNDERSTANDING AND HANDLING OUR EMOTIONS

A Series Leading To Biblical Counseling

Lesson 2

Gen 4:1-16
4:1 Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, "With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man." 2 Later she gave birth to his brother Abel. Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. 3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. 4 But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. 6 Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." 8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let's go out to the field." And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. 9 Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?" "I don't know," he replied. "Am I my brother's keeper?" 10 The LORD said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. 12 When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth." 13 Cain said to the LORD, "My punishment is more than I can bear. 14 Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me." 15 But the LORD said to him, "Not so; if anyone kills Cain, he will suffer vengeance seven times over." Then the LORD put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. 16 So Cain went out from the LORD's presence and lived in the land of Nod, east of Eden. NIV

Discussion:
1. Identify the characters in the story and their relationship with each other.
2. The crime of Cain: what was it exactly?
3. Take note and find out how crime started. Can you identify the specific issues that transformed Cain from being a brother to a brother’s murderer? What conclusions do you think Cain made about his situation?
4. In a “counseling” situation, God helped Cain understand what he was going through. What, according to God, was the explanation for rejection of his offering?
5. What was Cain’s punishment? Can you explain this punishment in terms of its impact on the social image of Cain?
6. What was one thing that Cain was afraid of after he heard what the punishment was?
7. How can we prevent a Cain-like emotions in our own life?

Remember the relationship between: Mental conclusion, emotions and Action. Apply this in the case of Cain and his crime.

Heb 11:4. By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead. (NIV)

Now, let’s try to “Counsel” Cain (Payuhan natin si Cain). If you were there and talking to Cain while he was clearly showing disturbed emotions, what would you have said to him or what questions would you have asked or encouragement that you have given to him?

SOME BEAUTIFUL DOCTRINES/ TEACHINGS YOU WILL NOT WANT TO MISS:
1. In verse 1, there is teaching about the morality and spirituality of marriage, can you find it? (clue: It is an implicit and not an explicit teaching).

2. In verses 4 and 5, we find God looked with favor upon Abel and his offering but did not look with favor upon Cain and his offering. What is the difference between these statements: “ Abel was God’s favorite” and “ God looked with favor upon Abel and his offering?”

3. In verses 6 and 7, God asked a series of questions. Since God is all-knowing, He could not have asked these questions in order to acquire information. Here is wisdom about how to use a question. Do you know what this question is called?

4. In verse 8, ask a pair of questions (as many you can make). The first question uses WHAT and the paired question uses WHY. The second question uses WHERE as its first question and the paired questions is WHY. The third pair uses WHAT for the first question and uses WHY as the other question.

4.1. First pair of questions: What- why
4.2. Second Pair of questions: Where- Why
4.3. Third Pair of Questions: What-Why

5. The “brother’s keeper” concept is found in verse 9. The core ideas of the “Brother’s Keeper” concept are:

You know where your family member is.
You know the condition of your family member.
You have done whatever was necessary to ensure the welfare of your family member.
Question: Can you say yes to all these 3 statements? (Praise God). If not, why not?

6. The word STIGMA is not mentioned in the story but it is clearly there. Can you find it?

Important lessons:
They say that anger is our response to perceived threat or pain. If you note the word PERCEIVE, you would notice that it has something to do with the thinking rather than the feeling part of our life. This is a simple truth that we all must and can learn to help us in anger management. Here is how we should understand anger: It has 3 parts of components:

INTELLECTUAL ANGER: Anger begins with our intellectual conclusion. When we conclude that we have been betrayed or taken advantaged of, we naturally judge it as wrong and we judge it REALLY wrong because it is directed at us.

EMOTIONAL ANGER: Our intellectual conclusion triggers emotional response so we FEEL our anger. Emotions can be contained but many times they are difficult to contain so we generate the third component.

BEHAVIORAL ANGER: When we make intellectual conclusion, we start feeling something in relation to our conclusions. Naturally, our emotions would want to find a release- thus there is an urge to do something about it to express it. Anger then gets expressed as behavior.

Note: Behavioral expression or acting out our emotions can either soften or harden our emotions. When what we do hardens our emotions, we become MORE GALIT and so we make more conclusions which, in turn, will cause to seek to have more expressions of our emotions.


It is then important to handle our emotions by dealing with the perception or intellectual conclusions that generate our emotions. That is why God asked Cain to focus on the WHY of his anger. Our behavior is generated and dependent on our emotions. Our emotions are generated and dependent on the intellectual conclusions that we make. When we positively change our intellectual conclusions, our emotions are also positively changed and finally, our behavior will also change for the better.