Those who have already left this world: A reflection on the All Souls and All Saints Day

YES THEY HAVE LEFT BUT NOT REALLY TO LEAVE US. THEIRS IS A DIFFERENT FLIGHT SCHEDULE THAN OURS ON OUR WAY TO OUR FINAL DESTINATION.
The morning was unusually quiet. Usual noises were almost muted and even the regular and punctual chirping competition between birds on the trees and shrubs around our place seemed to have been canceled that day. Everyone seems to be waiting for Ramil or Lupit to arrive. I was quiet for a different reason. I was going through the list of names of our brothers and sisters who have gone on ahead to heaven, the home of our Father and the place where we will all go one day. Every name evokes memories the consequence of which is that the wish for the old days invariably surfaces. We vividly recall the smiles, the deep and exciting ministry partnership, the merienda served in the homes of those who have gone on ahead and the many other smile-generating and heart-tugging effect of remembering those who are no longer with us.
How can one forget a loved one who has passed away? How can we forget families, friends and acquaintances who are no longer with us? That is not always possible since our brain works in a specific way: it stores information and does not technically delete. Sometimes, people make a scheduled remembrance so we now speak of the All Souls Day and the All Saints Day. These are scheduled remembrance and, in some ways, quite helpful for many.

ALL SOULS DAY AND ALL SAINTS DAY.
The Roman Catholic Church has designated November 1 as the ALL SAINTS DAY, a solemnity (celebrated annually) held in honor of the Saints, whether known or not. The most popular Solemnities in the RCC (aside from All Saints Day) are the Easter Sunday (called the Solemnity of Solemnities) and the Solemnity of the Rosary of the Most Blessed Virgin.

November 2 is also an important event in the life of a Roman Catholic population. It is called the ALL SOULS DAY, which is a remembrance of all the departed FAITHFUL as recognized by the Roman Catholic Church. Unlike the All Saints Day, All Souls Day is not fixed for November 2. If November 2 falls on a Sunday, or if a SOLEMNITY falls on November 2, All Souls day is moved to November 3. On this day, Requiem (literally- Rest) masses are offered for the souls that have not been perfectly cleansed from venial sins or from any sin or transgression that has not been atoned for. The masses on All Souls Day is premised on the belief that the souls are not in heaven but in purgatory as they have been barred from or not fully qualified to enter the BEATIFIC VISION (presence of God in heaven).

Admittedly then, there is no pain associated with the All Saints Day celebration. All Souls day, on the other hand, properly understood can bring pain and anxiety. First, it is premised on the belief that the departed one has not entered heaven and was therefore not admitted into the presence of God. Second, it is premised on the belief that the departed one in purgatory needs help from this side of the universe through prayers and good works. The anxiety is caused by the realization that nobody really knows how many years will a soul stay in purgatory (if such place existed) before he is allowed to enter the beatific vision. In worst situation are those who are no longer remembered by their loved ones and therefore no specific masses are offered in their favor.

In contrast, the Bible speaks of a reality that provides the assurance that a child of God can go directly into the presence of God after death. Let’s quote the words of the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 5:1-10 from the Douay Rheims Catholic Bible : 1 For we know, if our earthly house of this habitation be dissolved, that we have a building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal in heaven. 2 For in this also we groan, desiring to be clothed upon with our habitation that is from heaven. 3 Yet so that we be found clothed, not naked. 4 For we also, who are in this tabernacle, do groan, being burthened; because we would not be unclothed, but clothed upon, that that which is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5 Now he that maketh us for this very thing, is God, who hath given us the pledge of the Spirit. 6 Therefore having always confidence, knowing that, while we are in the body, we are absent from the Lord. 7 (For we walk by faith, and not by sight.) 8 But we are confident, and have a good will to be absent rather from the body, and to be present with the Lord. 9 And therefore we labour, whether absent or present, to please him. 10 For we must all be manifested before the judgement seat of Christ, that every one may receive the proper things of the body, according as he hath done, whether it be good or evil.

Verse 8 says: “ 8 But we are confident, and have a good will to be absent rather from the body, and to be present with the Lord.” Absent from the body, at home with the Lord. Death is said to be leaving the body or being absent from the body. From the body, the soul goes home to be with the Lord. The appropriate question then is: If dying means going home to be with the Lord, where exactly is the Lord Jesus now? Acts 1:11- Douay Rheims Catholic Bible. “11 Who also said: Ye men of Galilee, why stand you looking up to heaven? This Jesus who is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come, as you have seen him going into heaven.” Clearly then, Jesus left this world and went into heaven. 1 Thessalonians 1:10- Douay Rheims Catholic Bible: “10 And to wait for his Son from heaven (whom he raised up from the dead,) Jesus, who hath delivered us from the wrath to come.”

The Catholic Bible itself testifies that Jesus is in heaven. So when 2 Cor. 5:8 speaks of being absent from the body (the death event) and going home to be with the Lord, the Bible in fact refers to the reality of the believer going home to be with the Lord in heaven. He has, to borrow the phrase “entered the beatific vision” or the presence of God. It is for this reason that the family of the believer who recognizes that the departed one is already with the Lord in heaven, does not observe the All Souls Day in the same manner that it is commonly done; that is, by offering masses for the cleansing of the souls of the dead in purgatory. The issue is not even so much the existence or non-existence of purgatory. Granting - without conceding- that there is such a place called purgatory, one still realizes that there is a better option and that is to experience death as a doorway to enter heaven without passing through or without a stop-over called by any name.

Believers are not spared from the grief of losing someone to death. But, Paul reminds the believers that there is a proper way to grieve concerning those who have left us. He explains this to us in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18: 13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve, as do the rest who have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. 15 For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, and remain until the coming of the Lord, shall not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet of God; and the dead in Christ shall rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and thus we shall always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore comfort one another with these words. NASB

We grieve because grief is our all too human response to an experience of loss. But we do not grieve as those who have no hope. We know that the Lord Jesus is in heaven. This is the foundation of our hope and certainty. He who dies as a believer goes home to be with the Lord in heaven. It is not a strange place for heaven is a home. Heaven is not a lonely place for the Lord is there as well as those who have died in the Lord. Heaven is not a dangerous place for it is the home of the Lord who is Lord of Lords and King of kings.

We do not then, observe All Souls day by praying for the salvation of the souls of the dead in purgatory for our loved ones who died in the Lord are not in purgatory but in heaven, enjoying the presence and fellowship of the Lord. No wonder Paul can say: “To be absent from the body is to be at home with the Lord.” We can, however, observe all souls day in a different way. We can use the day to hold a prayer time to say thank you to God for the number of years given to us and the one who has passed away.

Whether you have set aside a special day to remember those who have passed on, of you have decided to make remembrance a regular and repeated event, the principle of right remembering will not change. That is, we accept the reality of death as a human experience. Then we accept the reality of no longer being able to see the other person in this world. How is this possible?

We look at life like a book with two major phases with each phase having many chapters. The first PHASE is the life in this world. The second PHASE is the life in heaven for eternity. The first phase has many Chapters: childhood, teen-age years, employee chapter, etc. Phase 1 ends with death for the one who died but it is a chapter ending for the surviving member. The woman’s life-chapter as a wife of this man ends and another chapter begins. Death ends a phase, burial is the final event in that phase and the person begins his second phase in heaven.

When somebody leaves this world, we respond in grief. Acceptance is the most appropriate response to GRIEF. You cannot stop grief, you can only accept it. The core experience of mourning is Grief. And how should we describe grief? Someone has said: Grief is a widow trying to cope with her own pains of having lost someone and at the same time trying to see to it that the children are all right. Grief is the man so filled with uncertainty and confusion that he drowns himself in alcohol only to wake up the following day with the pain still battering his inner being. Grief is a mother walking daily to a nearby cemetery to stand quietly and alone a few minutes before going about the tasks of the day. She knows that part of her is in the cemetery, just as part of her is in her daily work. Grief is the silent, knife-like terror and sadness that comes a hundred times a day, when you start to speak to someone who is no longer there. Grief is the emptiness that comes when you eat alone after eating with another for many years.

But grief, for the believer, must always be tempered by gratitude. Sometimes we say: It’s all too short. God gave us only 20 years. To respond to it correctly, we can remind ourselves that it could have been a much shorter 10 0r 15 years. Let us be grateful for the years with our loved one. Then, we handle our grief by mourning correctly.

Mourning, as a cultural and personal experience, refers to a specific period devoted to honoring the one who passed away. Grief is different from mourning in that grief refers to the impact of loss on us while mourning is the process of dealing with our grief in the context of healing and family support.

This helps us to understand why God had to put a time for mourning and then he tells Joshua to get on with the duties of the present, pursuing the program for the future. In Mourning, we stop to express our Grief and then we are told to stop the period of mourning that the period of moving forward may begin. What happens when we become unable to move on from our grief and mourning? The following story will help us see the resulting event of grief not handled very well.

The home of Paul Laurence Dunbar, noted poet, is open to the public in Dayton, Ohio. When Dunbar died, his mother left his room exactly as it was on the day of his death. At the desk of this brilliant man was his final poem, handwritten on a pad. After his mother died, her friends discovered that Paul Laurence Dunbar's last poem had been lost forever. Because his mother had made his room into a shrine and not moved anything, the sun had bleached the ink in which the poem was written until it was invisible. The poem was gone. If we stay in mourning, we lose so much of life. That is why God allows grief but puts a time limit to it. We grieve, then we go forward walking with the timing and doing the program of God. This is part of our acceptance and adjustments in life.

ADJUSTMENT means that we, by the grace of God, intentionally take a step to move on and get on with our lives. That is what the Israelites did. But we do not forget. God does not want us to forget. When talking to the Israelites, God would usually say: I am the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, reminding them of those who have already left this world.

The most important mindset in making the adjustment is not to focus on the numbers of years that could not be given to you together but to focus on the number of years that you were allowed to share with each other. We move on but we do not forget. We move on but we never empty our hearts of the love and commitment that were there before.

Adjustment means teaching yourself to go to bed and to say good night to someone who is in your heart but no longer in your house. Adjustment means to face the door and to open it yourself knowing that he will not be there to open it for you. Adjustment means sometimes to continue serving coffee to the one who is not there anymore until we get use to the idea that we do not serve coffee anymore because the fullness of service had already been rendered before. Adjustment means to face a whole cluster of adjustments, apprehensions, and uncertainties that death brings to the home but to strand strong and firm and to say: I’m going to make it because God will sustain me.

All Souls Day is a Roman Catholic event but even non-Roman Catholics can pause on that day and offer a prayer of gratitude for the times given us and our loved ones who have passed away.